My Very First Blog

Hello to all of you unfortunate enough to have stumbled upon my blog site. I am appreciative that you've paused the Internet porn and put down the Jergens long enough to read this (assuming you've made it this far even without any celeb up-skirt pictures). I've ventured into the uncharted waters of Internet blogging so that you may all be blessed with the awesomeness that is Cody Morris. I know what you're thinking and yes I really am that cutting edge.

A little about me:
If you read the above paragraph then you've probably cleverly figured out that my name is Cody Morris. I somewhat recently graduated from Indiana State University with a degree in English. I am living in Indianapolis with my girlfriend and am currently looking for my next failed foray into the world of full-time employment. I am an avid sports fan. I love my Colts, Red Sox, and recently have started watching the St. Louis Blues. I don't watch NASCAR because it's a dumb sport and I'm not an NBA fan either. I'm a liberal thinker who doesn't believe that premarital sex is a bad idea at all. I have a dog named Loki that I love very much and who has eaten most of everything I've ever owned.

I'm 26 years old, 6'5", slightly chubby, with hazel eyes. I enjoy long walks on the beach and relaxing to Dido's greatest hits. My favorite color is blue, I like to cook, and my favorite food is lasagna. Anything else you need to know?

Don't get your hopes up that this is going to be a deep, intellectual blog about philosophy and human nature. It's just going to be me making sex jokes and movie references while bitching about sports, and pop culture, and anything else I can think of. If I'm in a really good mood or really drunk, you may get something partially relevant, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Disclaimer: I will use profanity. I will use sarcasm. I will make sex jokes. I will make obscure movie and TV references. I will attempt to use my brain. If any of these things offend you, you may be better served sitting with your thumb up your ass and jerking off to the latest pictures of Snooki while listening to the newest Lady Gaga CD because "you're literally to stupid to insult." (see what I did there?)

It has been brought to my attention by a few of my friends that, while I'm sitting around on the couch working my unemployment muscles, I could be multi-tasking by attempting to practice the use of my so-called college degree. So, the following is that attempt.

If you have any questions or comments feel free to use the comment section. I should warn you, that unless you are telling me how great I am or saying something really stupid you're probably going to get ignored. But, if you have a valid point I'd be happy to mock your opinion while belittling your intelligence.

Don't bother correcting me on spelling or grammatical errors. It's a blog, not a term paper. I don't care and you need to get laid.

Well I think that about covers it for my very first blog. I'm giddy with anticipation at all the potential responses and google search hits. I should be a millionaire by next Tuesday.

Night all, look forward to talking to you again soon.